Quoth the Raven Nevermore
by Ojex XIII
Summary: It's her fault...


Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore"

Why is there always rain at a funeral?

Raven listened to the rain hitting the umbrella she held, her eyes never leaving the casket before her. Nearly the entire city had turned out for the burial of their beloved hero, but that's all this was to them, the death of a Teen Titan. They would forget within a week, maybe two, and eventually they would celebrate a new hero that joined the team as a replacement. But Raven would never forget. The one in that box had been more than just a hero to her; a friend, a beloved family member, someone she could always rely on, someone she loved. A replacement might come one day in the eyes of the people, but to Raven there would never be a replacement. No matter how many people joined her team, her family, throughout the years there would always be hole that could never be filled. After all…

…it was her fault.

The memory of that day was still fresh in her mind. A few years had passed since the final confrontation with the Brotherhood of Evil and the Teen Titans continued to expand, both with honorary Titans and fulltime team members. The newest fulltime member of the main team was a boy named Jaime Reyes, known to the public as the Blue Beetle. Jinx and Kid Flash had also joined the team full time. The passed few years had been good to them all. Robin and Starfire's relationship had developed to the point where they were now sharing a room, and Raven had overheard Robin telling Cyborg that he planned on asking Starfire to marry him. Things were similar with Kid Flash and Jinx except that, being the eccentric people that they were, they had agreed not to get married despite being very happy together. Cyborg was still the same hot tempered, food loving, car obsessed guy. He'd built a new T-Car after Gizmo had stolen and destroyed the previous one again. His latest project seemed to be creating the ultimate sandwich. Beast Boy still visited Terra's grave sight at least once a year, despite the fact that the statue had been missing for so long. He'd given up looking for her, but refused to admit that she might be dead. Otherwise, he was the same old Beast Boy. As for the new guy, Blue Beetle, his personality was like a mixture of Beast Boy and Robin, funny usually and yet serious when needed, and his powers were a combination of Cyborg's and Starfire's, wearing a cybernetic suit that allowed him to fly and shoot energy beams. He had a family back home in Texas, which he visited on a regular basis, but he was always there when the team needed him.

And Raven? Same old, same old. Nothing really new or exciting. Whenever they weren't out stopping Mumbo from robbing a bank or smashing Johnny Rancid's latest pet or whatever the cards had in store for them that day, she was usually in her room, alone, reading a book or meditating or something of the like.

Sure, she'd go to the mall or see a movie with her friends occasionally, but her solitary nature tended to win. But something was beginning to change. As Raven grew older and matured, she found that these things that had once comforted her didn't seem as satisfying as they'd once been. She didn't even find Beast Boy was annoying as she used to. And now she knew why the meditation no longer satisfied her and why the book no longer provided all the company she needed, and she hated herself for it to take a death for her to realize how foolish she'd been. She loved them. All of them. They were more than just her teammates or even her friends, they were her family.

Raven glanced over as she heard a sudden gasp, Starfire no longer able to contain herself as she began to sob. Robin pulled her into a hug and she buried her face in his shirt. She felt that she should be doing the same, but she was too proud to show her emotions so openly. Even now she was still cold, emotionless Raven, at least outwardly. Sometimes Raven envied Starfire, being able to be so emotional. She was rash, illogical, sometimes even down right stupid… but she was happy… almost endlessly happy. Sometimes Raven wanted that, but she knew it would never happen, not after a lifetime of emotional repression… and especially not now.

The day it had happened, the day the Teen Titans had lost their dear friend, had started out like any other day. By the time Raven had woke Cyborg was already in the kitchen cooking himself three plates of eggs, sausage, bacon, hash browns, toast, and all other kinds of breakfast foods. Kid Flash and Blue Beetle were on the couch watching TV, Kid Flash flipping channels about once every third of a second much to Blue Beetle's annoyance. She suspected that Robin was either already in the gym or still in bed snuggling with Starfire, likely the latter since Starfire wasn't awake yet. Jinx walked into the living room soon after Raven did. Lately Beast Boy had made a habit out of sleeping in as late as possible, so Raven was sure that he was still asleep.

Carrying a book in her hand, Raven grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down on the couch next to Blue Beetle, Jinx sitting on the opposite end next to Kid Flash. By now Blue Beetle was getting tired of how fast Kid Flash was flipping channels and was about to say something, but before he could Jinx magicked the remote into her hand and changed it to her favorite channel. Raven smirked. She would've done the same thing. She and Jinx still weren't as good of friends as she and Starfire were, but they had a mutual respect for how similar they were. Had Jinx not beaten her to it, Raven would have done the same thing, only should would've turned the TV completely off.

It wasn't much longer before Robin and Starfire joined them, Robin fully dressed, though the damp rag in his hand indicated that he had, in fact been in the gym, and Starfire wearing a robe and a towel on her head over her wet hair. They sat down together on the end of the couch next to Raven, Starfire snuggling up to Robin and giggling happily. Raven couldn't stop herself from smiling and she was sure she heard Jinx "awe." Those two had become nearly inseparable since their little adventure in Tokyo, always holding hands and sitting close and they always exchanged a kiss before leaving the tower to take down villains. They were perfect for each other and nothing came between them. Well, almost nothing. There had been an incident about a year ago, before Blue Beetle joined the team, with a so called Tamaranean prince that Starfire had been betrothed to since birth. She almost went through with it, apparently obligated to by Tamaranean tradition, until Robin figured out that the whole thing was just a ruse by Blackfire. Starfire nearly threw Blackfire into a black hole afterwards, but settled with letting her people punish her at Robin's plea.

And finally, only minutes later, Beast Boy emerged from his cave, bounding into the room as a dog and leaping at the couch, changing into an octopus with the intention of landing on Raven's head. Without looking up from her book, Raven flicked her wrist, using her powers to send Beast Boy flying at Kid Flash instead. Everyone laughed, even Raven and Kid Flash. Raven found that she'd been enjoying Beast Boy's shenanigans a little too much lately. She'd almost felt like letting him get her… almost.

But the uneventful morning wouldn't last. Just as Kid Flash had managed to pry Beast Boy out of his hair and Cyborg sat down with three plates of breakfast, the alarm went off. As Cyborg shoveled as many slices of bacon and sausage into his mouth as he could and Starfire flew off to get dressed, Robin called out their battle cry and they were off.

Raven couldn't stop her lower lip from trembling as her memories got closer to that fateful moment in their battle with, of all people, Control Freak. She looked away from Robin and Starfire to her other side, finding Kid Flash standing completely still, Jinx holding his arm as tears made her makeup run. Normally, even while sitting down, Kid Flash had some sort of movement going, even as minor as his foot tapping. And Jinx, she never cried. Never. Even when Kid Flash had broken both his legs and nearly all of his ribs while fighting Cinderblock, just before they joined the team fulltime, she didn't cry. She had changed a lot since leaving Gizmo and the H.I.V.E. Five. She stood by with the Titans without falter when Gizmo, Mammoth, and their new group, the H.I.V.E. Twenty-Five, came after her, wanting her back. If that wasn't proof enough that she could be trusted, then this was.

Jaime stood just behind the couple, his Blue Beetle suit having retreated into the alien scarab attached to his back. He stood quietly, allowing the rain to come down upon him without an umbrella. Barely on the team a year and this death affected him just as much as anyone else. His eyes never left the casket until his spotted Raven watching him. They locked eyes for a while, almost speaking to each other, until he looked down to the ground. She knew he didn't want to blame her, but she could almost see the image playing over and over again in his head when he looked into her eyes. She knew she was to blame… she just didn't want it to be true. Then it started playing through her head, too.

They arrived at the mall to find Control Freak attacking with a small army of monsters, most of which they'd seen in movies and TV shows. Apparently Control Freak's new remote could bring things out of DVDs and into real life. Robin tried making things quick by kicking the remote from his hand, but Control Freak had fitted it with a rubber grip and a wrist band similar to the Wii controller. Control Freak ordered his monsters to attack and instantly the eight heroes going against at least eight hundred.

Cyborg went first, taking out many with his sonic cannon. Kid Flash ran into the horde of monsters with Jinx riding on his shoulders, her taking out monster after monster with her powers as he sped along. Starfire pulled Robin into the air, throwing him down and he whacked several of the creatures with his staff, Starfire diving after him to assist with her energy attacks. Beast Boy charged in recklessly as a triceratops, Blue Beetle flying along with him to provide cover. Raven went in for the ring master. As she went to attack Control Freak he aimed his remote at her and hit a button. She teleported out of the way. The beam from the remote hit a TV showing a horror movie about demons or something. The beast that had been on the screen at that second appeared before Control freak. Raven reappeared behind him, ready to take him out, but she froze as she saw the beast. Tall, red, four eyes, antler-like horns… it looked like him, exactly like him. It was the spitting image of her father, Trigon. She backed away slowly as Control Freak ordered his new creature to attack. It took only two steps before Raven closed her eyes and her powers went wild.

When she forced herself to look again, the Trigon doppelganger was gone, as was every other monster and Control Freak was unconscious, his remote destroyed. She trembled and hugged her arms to her chest, just sitting there terrified as her team mates looked on, awestruck. But it was no longer Trigon that she feared. Emotions kept Raven's powers and check, and she'd lost control of her emotions. This was how powerful she was when she lost control of herself; perhaps it was only scratching the surface even. She was a monster… she feared herself.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "Raven…"

In her fear, on shear instinct alone, a sudden surge of Raven's dark energy shot out behind her. She heard a sudden gasp and the hand on her shoulder slipped away, followed by a thud. She turned around and found him on the floor, bleeding to death from a hole over his heart.

Raven flinched when she felt Cyborg's cold, metal hand on her shoulder, bringing her out of her trance. "It's not your fault, Raven." He said.

"Don't try to sugar coat it, Cyborg." Raven growled, tears streaming down her cheeks as her jaw quivered again. "I killed him… Beast Boy's gone… I hate myself… it took this for me to realize… I love him…" She turned and hugged him, burying her face in his chest. "I love him so much."

"I know." Cyborg said, wrapping his arms around her. He didn't bother saying that they all loved him… he knew what she meant.

Just then Robin's communicator went off. Doctor Light. Begrudgingly, Starfire, Kid Flash, and Blue Beetle went off ahead while Jinx and Robin ran off to the T-Car. Cyborg let go of Raven to go after the other two, but then he turned back. Raven wasn't following. He asked, not in earnest, but in understanding, "Are you coming, Raven?"

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."


End file.
